expressionisim

I never kept a diary throughout my adolesence, or high school, anything. I always kept poetry. I have separate spiral notebooks per a age, or a couple of years to each book. Going back now and reading them it's pretty ridiculous. I was so depressed all during my young teenage years. Then when I seem to hit mid-teen years I all of a sudden became very intellectual and wordly. Most of my words were about the way of the world, how everything turns, how we have evolved. It's actually pretty good. I don't think I have written a poem in about two years. I mean I can write down random little lines, lyrics or whatever. But past them, I haven't written anything recently.
I've been trying to figure out what it is that made me stop writing.


I recently (in the past 2 or 3 years) have gotten very into painting, on canvas. I am a collection of paintings, portraits, abstract, etc. I absolutely love it. I tend to find my most creative time is between the hours of midnight and four a.m. I paint naked sitting on my floor with my canvas leaning against whatever. I don't know what it is, but it just makes me feel great. But for some reason or another, I haven't painted in months. I don't know if I'm not feeling inspired, or if it's just pure laziness. I would like to be inspired to paint again.

Further more, something or someone to push me.